Someone just asked me what a "bowl moment" is. He meant "bowel movement." So from now on, when I take a dump I will say "I have to go make a bowl moment."

Why Oprah is Full of Herself

This is an excerpt from a Newsweek article criticizing Oprah's health advice and endorsement. I hope you find it as humorous as I did:

(Referring to Rhonda Byrne's philosophies which was made into the book "The Secret"):

By harnessing this powerful science, they said, we can have anything we want—happiness, love, fabulous wealth. This was so inspiring to Oprah that she devoted three shows to the product and appeared on Larry King to talk it up more. She said it encapsulated everything she believes. "I've been talking about this for years on my show," she said. "I just never called it The Secret."

On one of the Secret shows, Oprah gave an example of the scientific power of the concept. She said that once, while she was hosting an episode about a man who could blow really big soap bubbles, she was thinking to herself, "Gee, that looks fun. I would like to blow some bubbles." When she returned to her office after the show, there, on her desk, was a silver Tiffany bubble blower. "So I call my assistant," Oprah told the audience. "I say, 'Did you just run out and get me some bubbles? 'Cause I got bubbles by my desk.' And she says, 'No, the bubbles were always there. I bought you bubbles for your birthday and you didn't notice them until today'."

There are many lessons that might be drawn from this anecdote. One is that if you give Oprah a thoughtful gift, she may not bother to notice it or thank you for it. This is not the lesson Oprah took away from her story. Because the way she sees it, her assistant hadn't really given her the gift at all. She gave it to herself. Using the power of The Secret, she said, "I had called in some bubbles."


I'm so faaaabulooous!!!


To read the whole article, click here.

Racist Shit

Once I have calmed down, I will blog something about this. But I'm too busy and happy at the moment, I will not let this ruin my good weekend.

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Favorite Song of the Moment

Ben Folds makes me want to be a better pianist.

No to Old Lady Drivers

I almost got hit crossing the light by an octogenarian driver turning left, who should have been pulled over because she was not even in the turning lane!!!

Throw Up Cookies

I will never eat cookie dough ever again.

Check out my new venture in blogging at http://culinarymiss.wordpress.com.

It Must Be Winter

For women, a disadvantage of losing weight is that the boobs are first to go.

Only I could find something unawesome about something that's supposedly awesome. Hey, wearing a bra doesn't hurt anymore!